BEVERLY HILLS — Today actor turned celebrity Ashton Kutcher reportedly presented honey Demi Moore with a necklace made entirely of Kutcher’s toenails, clipped and collected over the course of three years.

“There’s a time for love, and that time is now,” said Kutcher to the gathered press, fleeing the Planet Hollywood BH. “Why should I withhold these remnants of me from her any longer?”

Moore was flattered, offering in return a suit made entirely of her own skin peelings, gingerly and lovingly collected from sunburns ranging back to 1940.