B. O’Malley’s Oscar Picks 2000

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Best Picture, Security Camera Manufacturers Association of America

Best Use of Nitro Glycerine In Himalayas
Vertical Limit

Lifetime Underachievement Award
Darren Aronofsky, Requiem for A Dream

Best Chicken Claymation
Space Cowboys

Best Director’s Daughter
Sofia Coppola, The Virgin Suicides

Outstanding Performance by a Bitchy Child
Haley Joel Osment, Pay It Forward

Rolling-Over-In-My-Grave Award
Dr. Seuss, Author: How The Grinch Stole Christmas

Best Horror Sequel Everybody Flocked To See Because The First One Was Such A Hit Phenomenon
Dracula 2000

Best Feelgood British Comedy
The Patriot

Best Chinese Picture
The Tao of Steve

Film That Had Nothing To Do With Cashews Whatsoever
The Nutty Professor II

Best Film About A Busty Consumer Advocate
David Horowitz: The Motion Picture

Best Picture, Alzheimers Foundation
Remember The Titans

Burglar Alarm Code Film of the Year

Rootinest-Tootinest Picture
Coyote Ugly

Best Picture, Airline Pilots Association

Film Title Most Begging for Porn Movie To Ripoff
Chuck and Buck

Picture Played Most Often

Breakout Dramatic Performance of the Year
John Travolta, Battlefield Earth

Best Computer-Generated Waves in a Comedy or Musical
The Perfect Storm

Best Picture, Scottish Chess Players Squad
Highlander: Endgame

Best On Screen Romance Between Two Actors
Leonardo DiCaprio, The Beach, with Leonardo DiCaprio, The Beach

Film That Had Very Little To Do With Painting
The Art of War

Picture That Best Rhymes With “Paddywack”
Pitch Black

Best Blair Witch Spoof
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2

Most Significant Waste of IMAX
Fantasia 2000

Most Misspelled on Marquees Across Alabama

Pizza At A Samoan Wedding
Gone In Sixty Seconds

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