Best Actor
Chuck D., The Second to The Last King of Scotland

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The Malcolm X Black Spirit Award for Social Change
Cuba Gooding Jr., Snow Dogs…

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From Roberto’s Best Actress Presentation Speech 2000:
I have run around and a dog! Look at me bark! Look at me happy as a yellow wicked film clam to hop on kneecaps and make love to the Jupiters even more than your Cinema Santa! I am yet to become another egg salad sandwich, but you are [...]

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Best Picture, Security Camera Manufacturers Association of America
Timecode
Best Use of Nitro Glycerine In Himalayas
Vertical Limit
Lifetime Underachievement Award
Darren Aronofsky, Requiem for A Dream
Best Chicken Claymation
Space Cowboys
Best Director’s Daughter
Sofia Coppola, The Virgin Suicides
Outstanding Performance by a Bitchy Child
Haley Joel Osment, Pay It Forward
Rolling-Over-In-My-Grave Award
Dr. Seuss, Author: How The Grinch Stole Christmas
Best Horror Sequel Everybody Flocked To [...]

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From Roberto’s Best Foreign Film 1999 Acceptance Speech:
Thank you! Thank you! Sophia, (inaudible) I want to be rocked by the waves of your beauty. Come here. Thank you! Thank you! This is a moment of joy and I want to kiss everybody because you are the (inaudible) of the joy. Here you kisses the joy [...]

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Best Director, Using Index Cards and Picnic Baskets
Daniel Myrick and Ed Sanchez, The Blair Witch Project
Best Picture, Kevin Smith’s Mind
Dogma
Best Sentimental Performance, Non-Robin-Williams
John Ratzenberger as Mr. Potato Head, Toy Story 2
Best Reason to Mispronounce “Jan de Bont.”
The Haunting
Outstanding Performance by a Cocker Spaniel
Julia Roberts, Runaway Bride
Outstanding Performance by a Bitchy Child
Haley Joel Osment, The Sixth [...]

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Best Movie About Water
Halloween: H20
Wisest Use of Leonardo DiCaprio
The Man In The Iron Mask
Best Movie Having to Do With Circular Things
tie: Sphere and Rounders
Honorary “We’re Not Gonna Take It!” Award
Dee Snider’s Strangeland
Best Asian Transvestite Exploitation Film
Mulan
Best Picture With A Number in the Title That’s Between 1,999 and 2,003
Blues Brothers 2000
Best Talking Parrot Movie
Spice World
Best Film [...]

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Best Actor
Martin Sheen, Spawn
Best Tibet Movie
Raiders of the Lost Ark (video)

Best Irish Steerage Drowning Scenes
Mr. Magoo
Best Southern Lawyer Movie
tie: Volcano and Dante’s Peak

Niftiest Lesbian Overtones in a Film or Short Subject
Alien Resurrection
Best Post-Apocalyptic Kevin Costner Movie
Half-Baked
Best Three Hours Spent Playing Videogames in Lobby
Jackie Brown
Best Ship Disaster Special Effects
Speed 2: Cruise Control
Best Bees
Ulee’s [...]

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Best Film About a Crippled Pornographer
Secrets and Lies

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Best Picture With A Subtle Leftist Agenda
The American President
Best Picture In Which the Flu Can Kill You
Sense and Sensibility
Actor Most Likely to Die Before George Burns
Dean Martin

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