My Dearest Friendos,
In the interest of taking a break from bludgeoning you with bulletins about the AUDIE AND THE WOLF PREMIERE, but not really, I offer you the top ten reasons why you should come see the World Premiere of Audie & The Wolf on Thursday August 14 (details at http://audieandthewolf.com)
TOP 10 REASONS TO ATTEND THE AUDIE & THE WOLF WORLD PREMIERE
10. The Downtown Film Festival – Los Angeles is making its debut. This is the first festival ever for the DFFLA. You get to be a part of Los Angeles history and help make it happen. Also, you can put this on your resume. But not really.
09. The party afterwards is sure to be a saucy, delightfully shallow endeavour. Come get loaded and pretend you’re not one of the shallow ones.
08. Boost your street cred and take the subway to the theater. Super close! Walk 2 blocks and you’re there. Perfect for all you health conscious fucktards who think exercise is good for you.
07. Free alcoholic drinks in the theater lobby before the show, courtesy of the festival sponsors and your liver.
06. This is a one-time event. A film only premieres once. You’ll be able to say “I was there.” Or “I was there. And it sucked. Holy fuckballs, did it suck.”
05. The film will be screened in High definition HDCAM projection with 5.1 surround sound. So it’ll look like a real movie. You know – the kind of movie you’ll fork over $14 for at the Arclight this Friday night starring Jack Black which will hit dvd and pay-per-view in 12 minutes and no one will remember in 13.
04. You can meet the stars of the movie, live in person, and harrass them for autographs, real estate, or financial advice.
03. It’s playing at a beautiful old-fashioned MOVIE PALACE. http://losangelestheatre.com to see what I’m talking about. This place was once saved from ruin during the Depression by a donation from none other than Mr. Charles Chaplin himself. (He’s the funny movie guy who looked like Hitler.)
02. The only thing on TV you’re missing that night is the Olympicsand Big Brother, and Ugly Betty. And Assmasters 12, if you have adult pay-per-view.
01. 100% of all ticket proceeds go to the Retarded Childrens’ Poker Fund. Yes! It’s true! Nothing beats a helmeted Royal Flush.
And yes, these will probably be repeated via another email blast. Get on the list at http://audieandthewolf.com
B. Scott O’Malley